I was willing to put up with team handball. I even stuck it out through that jumping on a trampoline crap. I mean I can't get 30 feet of air or do triple back flips on the trampoline in the backyard of the BSB Mansion, so that stuff was at least somewhat amusing. But there is no way in hell you can convince me that competitive speed walking deserves to be considered an official Olympic event, especially not after the geniuses at the International Olympic Committee have decided to remove baseball and softball from the lineup. The only sport in which you should receive yellow and red cards for rules infractions is soccer (3 red cards before you're booted in speed walking; Zidane only wishes he could have been that lucky...). Call me crazy.

Not only should the simple act of walking not be considered an Olympic event because it takes absolutely no skill aside from being able to repeatedly place one foot in front of the other, but it also looks completely ridiculous when upwards of a dozen men or women do it in a synchronized manner. Ridiculous and at least a little creepy.

Get your priorities straight, IOC. And by "get your priorities straight" I mean keep it to sports that the American audience finds worthwhile. (America's pastime and Jenny Finch every few games? Yes. Seemingly anorexic women walking around a pseudo-track? A resounding no.)