The Washington Nationals are not a team that many big leaguers want to play for. Just ask Julian Tavarez.

Talking with folks from the Washington Post, Tavarez offered this gem on his reasoning for accepting a deal with the former Expos. First, let it be known that Boston Sports Buzz in no way advocates getting so belligerently housed that you begin to find that 600-pounders begin to look like Jennifer Lopez. It's probably not healthy, and you sure don't want to be waking up next to a girl that looks like an even larger version of Vince Wilfork.

Why did I sign with the Nationals? When you go to a club at 4 in the morning, and you're just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J-Lo. And to me this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It's 4 in the morning. Too much to drink. So, Nationals: Jennifer Lopez to me.