Things I Hate: Gung Ho Bandwagon Fans
There is an article on Boston.com today about bandwagon fans starting to show their faces for the Bruins.
So get ready for a rant.
Let me start of by saying I don't mind bandwagon fans. Everyone knows I'm a Boston sports fan to an unhealthy degree. But I was a bandwagon fan at one point. Everybody was.
Nobody is born a die hard fan of a team. I hate when people say that, by the way.
"Hey guy, when did you become a Bruins fan?"
"I was born a fan, brah."
No, no you weren't.
You were born a stupid baby that was more worried about shitting your pants than who scored the game-winner for the B's. And you probably contributed more to society then than you do now. Bitch.
That's like me saying I was born a rocket scientist.
You can't be born something if you have absolutely no prior knowledge of it. Absurd.
Anyways, everybody is a bandwagon fan at one point. That's how you start being a fan. So I don't give bandwagon fans shit. At the very least, it's another person to watch the Bruins with.
But gung-ho bandwagon fans are an entirely different beast. I call them attention whores and I knew a ton of them at BU during the 2007 Sox run.
You know attention whores when you see them: decked out in whatever team is in the playoffs, probably face paint, and all they say is "Go Bruins!" because they don't know anything else about the team besides the fucking name. they're also probably the most annoying person in the room as well.
But the thing that makes gung-ho bandwagon fans the worst people on earth is when the team they supposedly love more than breathing air loses. They literally couldn't care less.
Meanwhile, people like you and I are breaking TV controllers and smashing old refrigerators with bats and putting holes in the wall so big that you lose most of your security deposit.
And it's like if you're going to cheer that hard for a team, you should fall just as hard when they lose or else it doesn't add up.
Being a gung-ho bandwagon fan is like cutting in line. They just show up whenever they want when shit starts to get good and peace out when it starts sucking.
And again, meanwhile, people like you and I have been camping out for the whole season, yet both groups of fans are now at the same point and get to enjoy the same thing equally. It's bullshit.
It's like at least have some validity in what you're doing if you're going to be so gung-ho.
Like if, for some reason, spelunking became hands-down the coolest thing to do and everybody was doing it, I would try to be the best fucking spelunker in all the land if I started liking it. I'd learn everything I could about it just so I didn't look like an idiot supporting something that I knew nothing about. At least then you can respect yourself.
Bottom line is, gung-ho bandwagon fans are some of the most fake people on the Earf (that's how Will Smith says Earth).
And if there is one thing that I never want to be it is fake.
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