REPORT: Papi Gets Four Games

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REPORT: Papi Gets Four Games

(Fight on the mound or break dance battle? You be the judge.)

It's official. David Ortiz was suspended four games for his part, no matter how hilarious it was, in the altercation also involving loser cyborg Kevin Gregg.

Kevin Gregg was also suspended four games for what, I would guess, was because he literally looks like a robot who sucks at pitching...and fighting apparently.

I can't talk shit, though, because Papi's punch was one of the more pathetic things I've seen in this world.

But this is why I hate when pitchers fight position players; the suspensions don't match up.

As Tommy Callahan, big Tom Callahan's son, would say in Tommy Boy, "Let's think about this for a sec, Ted."

The Red Sox lose one of their best hitters, the best DH in the game right now, for the same amount of games as a pedestrian reliever who might not even need to appear in the games he's suspended for.

So, basically, the Sox lose their 2nd best hitter, and the Orioles just won't pitch the robot for four games, which they might have done anyways.

Which leads me to my boy, Scoops McAdam's report that Papi will appeal his suspension.

So we'll see what happens.