The national media has been all over Matt Sanchez's nuts for the better part of a month now, and how does he reward them? A 27.0 Week 4 passer rating with 3 interceptions, one of which resulting in a score for the Saints. The rookie "phenom" looked absolutely lost out there, and against one of the league's perennial bottom-dwellers defensively. Plus, the defense gave up receptions to 10 different Saints, as well as 153 yards on the ground! As Rex Ryan is fast learning, you can only fool 'em for so long.

        

Wow. Rather than looking like the team that sent the B's home in the first round last postseason, the 'Canes looked like a high school team out there. All that intensity and playmaking we were hoping to see in Game 1 burst out in a big way tonight. You know it's on when Marc Savard is dropping the gloves to help protect teammates. Best game of the year by far (I know, I know, it's only the second game, but what a game it was!). On a related note, I lost a lot of respect for Andrew Alberts during this game. Not that I had much respect for him to begin with, but that high hit on Sturm was absolute horse shit. Alberts should know better, considering he was on the same team as Sturmy just two seasons ago.

        

Gonna be honest - until about 20 minutes ago, I totally forgot I used to pick the games against the spread last year. Just had no remembrance of it whatsoever. My bad. I haven't been betting as much so it just slipped my feeble 25-year-old mind. Tough economy and all. So here I am, three weeks late, with the first installment of The Picks, 2009 edition. Be sure to let me know how much green you win thanks to my unparalleled wisdom.

Oakland at Houston (-8.5) - Slaton goes off despite Seymour's presence. PS - Sorry in advance for the 2009-10 season, Richard.
The Pick: Texans -8.5

Tennessee (-3) at Jacksonville - Jags' passing game slowly starting to catch up with the ground game.
The Pick: Jaguars +3

Baltimore at New England (-1.5) - Encouraging display late against Atlanta, but Brady's not clicking on all cylinders yet. Not even close.
The Pick: Ravens + 1.5

Cincinnati (-6) at Cleveland - Browns have two quarterbacks which, as we all know, means you have no quarterback.
The Pick: Bengals -6

New York Giants (-9) at Kansas City - Bowe's iffy and Larry Johnson looks lost out there. The Chiefs may not score this week.
The Pick: Giants -9

Detroit at Chicago (-10) - Solid showing by the Lions last week, but Cutler's doing too well and Forte's got too much to prove.
The Pick: Bears -10

Tampa Bay at Washington (-7.5) - The Redskins are just awful this year. Unfortunate considering I'm a Clinton Portis owner.
The Pick: Buccaneers + 7.5

Seattle at Indianapolis (-10) - Julius Jones will keep the 'Hawks in it, but there's no way the Colts lost this one at home.
The Pick: Seahawks +10

New York Jets at New Orleans (-7) - Jets D will test Brees and Colston, but Sanchez is still overrated.
The Pick: Saints -7

Buffalo at Miami (even) - TO's a non-factor, but Jackson and Lynch will tear it up on the ground.
The Pick: Buffalo (even)

St. Louis at San Francisco (-8.5) - Rams sucked with Bulger, now they're absolutely unwatchable. 'Niners run wild even without Gore.
The Pick: 49ers (-8.5)

Dallas (-3) at Denver - Broncos D is overachieving but the Cowboys have looked mediocre at best. Romo may miss The TO Show.
The Pick: Broncos +3

San Diego at Pittsburgh (-6.5) - Vincent Jackson and Darren Sproles will do surprisingly well against an excellent Pitt D.
The Pick: Chargers +6.5

Green Bay at Minnesota (-4) - Mark it on your calendars: 3 scores for ADP and 2 through the air for Brett the Jet.
The Pick: Minnesota (-4)

        

    

Pau Gasol of the Los Angeles Lakers, and actor Eduardo Noriega. We all know Gasol's story - soft ass dude who couldn't win on his own but was finally lucky enough to get traded to a contender and play on a team with Kobe. The only thing I've ever seen Noriega in is that shitty movie "Vantage Point," so the jury's still out on him, too.

        

Happy opening night, boys and girls.

        

From Kansas City Star Chiefs writer Adam Teicher:

Picture this: NBA player Rasheed Wallace, a Derrick Thomas jersey and a prosthetic leg. That was the scene in the lobby Sunday afternoon at Lincoln Financial Field. Wallace, wearing a No. 58 Chiefs jersey,tossed a man’s prosthetic leg back and forth.

Odd. But at least it distracted Wallace from the loss, particularly considering the unlikely Chiefs fan has been following the team for 15 years. 

Odd indeed. I can't tell if this is humorous, disturbing, or both. For starters, where the hell did 'Sheed get a prosthetic leg? Whose is it? Is that person missing it? Does he or she even know it's gone? Was it given to 'Sheed in accordance with the person's free will, or did the big meanie swipe it from a poor, unsuspecting amputee? And while we're at it, what the hell is Rasheed fucking Wallace doing with it at an NFL game? I guess being a Chiefs fan, especially for such a lengthy amount of time, drives people to do some absurdly crazy things.

        

I actually wasn't expecting Youkilis to come up clutch with a base hit to drive in Jacoby right there — in fact, I was much more confident when V-Mart was in the box one batter before — but Youk seriously just looked like a little boy. Or maybe more appropriately a deer in the headlights. Straight heat on a full count and you watch it all the way in for strike three? Gotta hand it to Frasor, that took some serious balls pumping in a down-the-middle fastball to one of the team's better hitters. It would have been nice to write a "Sox clinch wild card" post tonight, but oh well, that can wait a day or two.

On a much more important note, who the hell was the blonde with Tom Werner? That guy's been doing some pretty big things since ditching the blood-sucking leech that is Katie Couric. If anyone DVR'd that game and feels like grabbing a photo and emailing it to me, that would be just swell. Gotta share Werner's wealth with the world. We're in a recession, after all.

        

Not exactly the type of intensity you expect from a preseason game, but if Neil's gonna throw a hit on one of our top playmakers (Savard), you're gonna have to deal with the consequences. What's even more cool is you know Looch was out there for one reason and one reason only. Check out the location of his stick at the 13 second mark if you don't believe that.

        

    

Phil Kessel of the Toronto Maple Leafs (wow, that's weird to say — err, type I mean) and Sig Hansen of the hit Discovery show "Deadliest Catch."

Sports fans around these parts will no doubt remember Kessel as the potential superstar sniper who bitched his way out of town (allegedly) and landed with the division rival Leafs. (Speaking of which, since the site was down when that happened — thanks, GoDaddy! — I'm not too upset about the trade. Two firsts and a second for a guy, albeit a guy with great upside, who wanted more money than he was worth and apparently didn't want to play here anymore is fine by me.) True, Kessel has superstar potential, but let's see if he even comes close to last year's 36 goals without Marc Savard feeding him the biscuit. Anyway, to get back to the point at hand, what I'll remember Kessel most for is looking strikingly similar — and equally as ugly — to Northwestern captain Sig Hansen. I've been a big fan of the show for some time, and even though I think it trailed off a bit this past season, it's still worth a watch considering the rest of the reality TV shit out there these days.

        

Just sayin'... (hat tip to Barstool)